Every night, the same nightmares, plaguing my sleep.
Those stark cold hands, running across my body, giving me severe chills. Grabbing, pulling me down. Leather gloves, and horns of steel. Those red demonic eyes, sneering through their masks. Like … demons from hell.
The only thing that managed to keep them from pulling me down completely, was the golden harness. But with each night that went by. Each sin I had committed. It lowered me down, slowly, but surely.
I guess my sins had caught up to me.
But I had no choice.
It was wrong of me to get mixed with them, and now I was stuck, bounded by chains. They had me completely wrapped around their fingers. I was 'his' puppet he was my master. After the ‘deed’ had been done, there was nothing keeping me in it anymore, apart from my baby sister. My mother on the other hand, ha! She was doing fine.
As fine as you could get in a mental asylum. And with the stress of pregnancy and work, eventually medication wasn't enough to subdue her condition. Putting her in there was the safest option.
Yes, I sold out the person, who gave me life, food and shelter. But I did it all for her and my sister. My mother was not fit to be caring for a newborn. But I lost my father to her drunken ways.
No, she did not kill him. He just got fed up with how she would drink herself to sleep every night and wake up acting like a she-devil hell. It really was sickening to see her at home, clutching a bottle of vodka with a cigarette in her mouth.
Heck, he was already gone before my fourth birthday, scratch that, ON my fourth birthday, abandoning me without a second thought.
That gave my mum a wake up call. She finally cleaned up her act, getting a job. But that gave her no time to take care of me. Not like she spent any time with me in the first place.
I knew pretty much nothing about her.
I guess that’s why I refuse to call her anything other than ‘mother’.
Hah, a simple nightmare turned this into my childhood story. Mind you, I don’t go telling everyone about my past. But since I've started, I might as well finish the story. But I’ll leave it for next time.
I still have to head towards the hospital.
I haven’t visited my sister in a week.
~To Be Continued~
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